Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?A: A chain saw has a dynamic range.

Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath it's covered with rustDealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free. We didn't charge you for it, did we?

How does the pig farmer get to the fair? He rides piggyback.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. - Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet?A thousand dogs.

Yo mama is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!!

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself."Sorry, he doesn't live here anymore, we're divorced!"Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results.He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling. "Look, Bozo! We're divorced! Finito! End of story! When are you going to get that through your fat head?""Oh, I know! I just can't hear it enough!"

Girl 1: "Can I invite a few friends to your Halloween party?"Girl 2: "Sure. The more, the scarier!"

A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED.''Yes.''

I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare.William Shakespeare's dead, silly.No wonder he hasn't replied.