Did you hear about the rookie Rhode Island cop who gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he found out he was at a drive-in movie?

What kind of bath can you take without water?A sun bath.

What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.

"Mag-exchange gift tayo? Akin ka at iyo naman ako."
- Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago

Mandy was applying for a summer job.'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store.'I'm twelve years old, Sir,' answered Mandy.'And what do you expect to be when you grow up ?''Twenty one, Sir.'

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - T2 Barbie ...a study in silver

Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?A: Palm Sunday.

Who is the bees favourite singer ?Sting !

A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked by a desperate animal rights extremist who vowed to kill one of the passengers to demonstrate his serious intentions. There were two passengers present, a microbiologist and a yeast geneticist. The hijacker gave each one two minutes to explain why they shouldn't be killed. The microbiologist (who studied bacteria) talked for 1 minute 59 seconds explaining that he studies bacteria, bacteria are model organisms for the study of genetics and physiology etc. etc. and finished with an emotional, bacteria-laden plea which had the hijacker in tears. When he was done, they turned to the yeast geneticist who said, "let me explain to you why yeast genetics is an important discipline..." but he was interrupted by the microbiologist who exclaimed "Shoot me! Shoot me!"

Where is the best place to hide a lawyer?In a brief case.