10,172 HILARIOUS JOKES FOR A GOOD LAUGH
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?""That it is, "Irish Mike replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball.""You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat."How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Mike."Well," mused Pat, "there's a lesson in this somewhere.""That there is," replied Irish Mike...." 'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."
What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks, I'll just have a sliver !
How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?Hmmm........I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you
Question: What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub?Answer: One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
Policeman: Why were you driving around in circles and laughing?Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round.
Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?''But I only have $8,' his friend replied.That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!Stick your foot out and trip it up!
What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old ?Six weeks old !
The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, brightas a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the conceptof marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"
Two Bedouins were in the middle of a desert. When one gets something blown into his eye. His companion takes a look at his eye for him and says, "Hold still Abdul, it might be sand."