What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?Deviled eggs!

Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?New Recruit: Call for backup!

What do you call a dog with no legs ?It doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come !

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquitoGo away, sucker!

What is a cow's favourite TV show ? Dr Moo !

Where do ants go for their holidays ?Frants !

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside.

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. Mysecretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there itwas, on the back of a kitchen chair.

Why are mosquitoes annoying? Because they get under your skin.