Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?He fell in love with the Grand National winner!

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday. . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

Knock knockWho's there?Banana.Banana who?Knock knockWho's there?Banana.Banana who?Knock knock Who's there?Orange.Orange who?Orange you glad I didn't say banana ?

QUESTION: Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep? ANSWER: Because he's afraid someone would look through the keyhole.

What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster? A wake-up call!

There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died. What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They put his left leg in....Well, you know the rest.

How does James Bond type e-mails?With his goldfinger.

What are the pigs warned to look out for in New York? Pigpockets.

What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes? Get a small hankie!