School Jokes And Funny Stories

Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant ?Pupil: Hong KongTeacher: Why do you say that ?Pupil: That's where the atlas says the population is most dense !

Teacher : Tommy you try my patience !Tommy: No, teacher you had better try mine. There's more of it !

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

'Ann!' the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window. 'If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I ?'Thirty two!''Why did you say that ?''Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad !'

Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is roundPupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !

Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.

Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ?Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !

Be sure that you go straight home after schoolI can't, I live just round the corner !

What do history teachers make when they want to get together?Dates!

Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?Pupil: The school bus!