School Jokes And Funny Stories

Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection ?Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ?Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia ?Pupil: Fred did !

Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to?Pupil: Nobody I know!

The brain is a wonder ful thingWhy do you say that ? Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class !

Teacher : If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have ?Pupil : A fight !

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ?Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!

Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!

Why aren't you doing very well in history?Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. "The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father, "is that I know he never cheated during his exams."