Car And Train Jokes And Funny Stories

What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker?Hop in.

Policeman: Why didn't you stop at that red light?Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

Policeman: Why did you stop your car, get out, and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

A man was fed up of having his car broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he would remove it when he parked his car he also left a note saying there is no point in breaking in my car as there is nothing to steal. When he returned to his car it had been broken into again and there was a new note where his had left his, saying just checking.!

My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car, Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over.

What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?One minds the train, the other trains the mind.

Policeman: Why are you driving that car in circles?Driver: I was just going for a little spin.

Police Officer: Why were you speeding?Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.

Where do cars get the most flat tires?Where there is a fork in the road.

Policeman: Why were you asleep at the wheel?Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.