College Jokes And Funny Stories

Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done. One night Grady heard a noise under his bed. Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered, "Anybody there?" "No," said the burglar. "That's funny," the boy said to himself. "I could have sworn I heard a noise!"

Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus. One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, "I hear there's a new case of herpes in the dorm." "Great!" said Baldwin. "I was getting tired of 7-Up!"

Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?Professor Yes, but I thought it was mine!

How can you tell if a California State coed is a good cook? She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?

A survey was being taken on the University of Arizona campus. The survey taker asked a soccer player, "What do you think of bilingualism?" "Oh, I think it's okay," said the boy, "if it's between consenting adults."

"Now my motto in life," said the school chaplain, "is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?""My motto is let bygones be bygones.""That's good. Why did you choose that?""Then I wouldn't have to take any history classes!"

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them and sometimes with good reason. "What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one student indignantly."What's it taste like?" asked the cook.""Glue!""Then it's apple pie the plum pie tastes like soap."

Jeb and Eudell, University of Michigan athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: "CLEAN REST ROOMS." By the time they got to Cleveland, they'd cleaned 147 Johns.