Bar, Beer, And Fun! Joke #674
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass!! As the crowd cheered, the bartend er paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The scrawny little man replied "I work for the IRS."
NEW AND UPDATED JOKES
Isang lola ang pumunta sa...
The Krispy Kreme Doughnut Recipe...
Does your mum like shopping...
What falls, but never needs...
Ano ang puno na di...
Ano ang sinabi ng isda...
Gi treat ni misis iyang...
Q: What did the blonde...
Q: How can you help...
Q: What's a blondes idea...
Q: What did the elephant...
Teacher: Why do we put...
Q: What do you call...
Q: What is the bees...
Q: How are Boris Becker...
Q: What is the difference...
A rapist, a gangster and...
Q: What do you say...
May tama ka! Basta smartness...
Waiter: These are the best...
Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT...
1. Q: "Kung ang light...
In a job interview the...
Juan: Pre, gabi-gabi nalang akong...
"Imo ko’ng gipasakitan unya karon...
ANAK: mommy, nakita ko si...
Sa office... Caller: Hello, good...
Sabi mo mukha m0 parang...
Press <F1> or <F2>. Take...
English: "Do not do unto...
ANAK : Nay, Nay! Naa...
Q: How do you tell...
Teacher: What's 2 and 2...
Pupil 1: Bay, nakahimo kag...
Pasyente: Dok, ngano magsakit man...
si JOHNNY taga BOHOL nibalhin...
(Mag-uyab nanuroy sa mall) BF:...
Pari: Unsa’y ngan sa baby?...
TEACHER:How many liters does a...
TEACHER: give me a tag...
Ngano ang mga ginikanan lisod...
Driver: Palihug lang beh, katong...
Q: unsay bisaya sa "we...
Ang lain-lain motto. AIR FORCE:...
Anak: Ma, busog nako, dili...
Anak: Tay, di ko katulog,...
Inahan: Daghana og lung-ag, apila...
Pedro: Iuli ko nalang ning...
Usahay kung maghilak ka, way...
Anak: Pa, mangharos ko karon...
PARROT mi singgit sa tulo...
Customer: Miss, papalita ko ug...
Pedro: Juan, ari ta agi...
Nanay: Anak, tawagi imong tatay...
Kustomir: Day, mainom ning tubig...
Mahibaw-an nimo imong sakit pina-agi...
ERAP @ GRADE 1 Sa...
Lola in Manila. Security: excuse...
Tay: Nak...kabantay mi nga...ni dako...
In a singing contest. 1st...
Empleyado: Boss, namatay diay atong...
Kulas: Bay Tasyo, matod sa...
Tatay: Dong, sak-a ang mangga...
Bisaya in Manila. BISAYA: Pabili...
(Mga bisdaks in Manila) BISAYA...
(Court hearing) ATTY: Asa ka...
Akala ko ba bakasyon na?...
Calculator ka ba? Kasi solved...
Waiting shed kba? kasi handa...
Philippines ka ba? kasi it's...
Pimple ka ba? Kasi pag...
TAXI ka ba? kasi habang...
Ilaw ka ba? kasi you...
Race track ka ba? kasi...
Aanhin pa ang PAA mo?...
Ang lampa mo naman! Tatawid...
Sana naging issue na lang...
Pwede ba kitang AWAYIN? para...
Thesis ka ba? Kasi handa...
Badtrip! Ano bang problema ng...
Alam mo, para kang ampalaya?...
Apoy ka ba? kasi I...
Sana antok na lang ako,...
PIZZA ka ba? CRUST kasi...
Alam mo ba na dati...
Kung nagugutom ako at kelangan...
GOOGLE ka ba? kasi nasa'yo...
Kili kili ka ba? kinikilig...
Si Mr. BEAN ka ba...
Hanggang KINSENAS na lang kita...
Safeguard ka ba? Bakit? Germs...
Nung sinabi ko sa sarili...
Minamalat na naman ang puso...
Totoo bang habang may buhay...
Ang galing mo palang bumato...
Para kang YOSI? Kasi ang...
Sikreto ka ba? Kasi hindi...
Sana tanong na lang ako...
Miss may kanin ka ba?...
"Didja hear the news?" asked...