Women Jokes And Funny Stories

Why are women such bad drivers?Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.

Q: Why is a modem better than a woman? A: A modem doesn't mind if you talk to other modems. A modem doesn't complain if you sit and play at the computer all night. A modem will sit patiently and wait by the phone. A modem comes with an instruction manual.

A few women were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that sleep was a factor. Another replied: "Of course sleep is a factor. The only time I'm not eating is when I'm sleeping!"

QUESTION: What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman? ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

OUESTION: What is cosmetics? ANSWER: Cosmetics is a woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.

What are the three fastest means of communication? Internet, telephone, telawoman.

QUESTION: What's the best way to get a youthful figure? ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted." - The next day he received a hundred letters saying "You can have mine."