Waiter Jokes And Funny Stories
Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup.Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.
CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.
Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.
Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today.Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.
Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order?Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.
Customer: Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.
Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make.Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either.
Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough.Waiter: That wasn't the crust, that was the pie plate.