Various Animal Jokes And Funny Stories
Mama bear to Papa bear:"Well... You might call it hibernating -- I call it 'goofing off'."
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?A stinkasaurus!
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?They're both brown, except the snowball.
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.The second hiker says, "What are you doing?"The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it."The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear?The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
Why did the whale like the diver?Because he had flippers!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ? A stripey sweater !
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
How can you tell when a skunk is angry?It raises a stink!
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater ? 'Claws.'