Telephone Jokes And Funny Stories

Mother: Why was the phone busy all night?Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.

What did the man say when he got a big phone bill?"Who said talk is cheap?"

A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient. "Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?" asked the psychiatrist. "As a matter of fact, I do," said the patient. "And when does this happen?" asked the psychiatrist. "Oh," said the patient, "when I answer the telephone."

What kind of phone makes music?A saxophone.

How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?

How does a door chime answer the phone? Bella?

The phone in Rigby's Georgia farmhouse rang one evening. When he answered, the operator said, "This is long distance from Chicago." "I knowed it's a long distance from Chicago!" answered the farmer. "How come you called to tell me that?"

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.

What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron? A smooth operator!

How do, like, really laid-back types answer the phone? Mellow.