Spelling Jokes And Funny Stories

Can you spell eighty in two letters?A-T.

Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi? Redneck: Which one? The river or the state?

THE teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their fathers did for a living and then spell the occupation. Mary went first. "My Dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give everyone a cookie." Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker, b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter." Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician.'' But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then turned to Johnny. "My dad's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8 to 5 that Jimmy ain't never gonnaspell electrician."

How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?NME (enemy).

Daughter: I will never learn to spell.Mother: Why?Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.

"Please, ma'am! How do you spell ichael?" The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael?" she asked. "No, ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

What question must always be answered, "Yes"?"What does Y-E-S spell?"

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis? Fred: Only when I tried to spell it.

Can you spell jealousy with two letters?NV (envy).