Space Jokes And Funny Stories

I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.What high hopes you have !

How do spacemen pass the time on long trips ?They play astronauts and crosses !

Two aliens from outer space landed in Las Vegas and were wandering around the casinos. One of them volunteered to go inside and see what was happening. He came out looking rather shocked. "What's the matter?" asked his friend. "It's a very popular place," replied the first alien. "It's full of creatures that keep throwing up little metal discs."

If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get?Missile toe.

Where do Martians drink beer ?At a mars bar !

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ?Something from another universe -ity !

How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn.

What do you call an alien starship that drips water? A crying saucer.

Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good.

President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news." "Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."