Salesmen Jokes And Funny Stories
Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here's got room in their houses for a mammoth.
An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way sir." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die ?""Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't reckon that'd be any concern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while I'm alive."
Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."
One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object."What is that?" Mikey asked. "It's a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked."It's a thermos," Mikey replied."What does it do?" they asked."Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.""What do ya got in it?"To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."
An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water."What kind of salesman are you?" the boss scolded. "Get out there and sell him a boat."
What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day? Rugs and kisses!
Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery.Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland."Salesman: Haven't you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."
Salesman: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?Customer: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.