Restaurant Jokes And Funny Stories

Three couples are dining together.The American husband says to his wife: "Pass me the honey, Honey".The English husband says to his wife: "Pass me the sugar, Sugar".The [you name it] husband says to his wife: "Pass me the steak, Dumb cow".

At our local restaurant you can eat dirt cheap - but who wants to eat dirt?

A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish."The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says.The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks."Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.

Why was the restaurant called "Out of this World"? Because it was full of Unidentified Frying Objects.

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter? Coloured eggrolls!

"Can I have some two-handed cheese, please?" a man in a restaurant asked the waiter. "What do you mean, 'two-handed cheese'?' asked the waiter. "You know, the kind you eat with one hand and hold your nose with the other."

Waiter, what is this bug doing on my wives shoulder!I don't know - friendly thing isn't he !

Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger ?No, but in the restaurant next door I once saw a man eating chicken !

The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."