Old Age Joke #2347
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags !"The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat.She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.
NEW AND UPDATED JOKES
Isang lola ang pumunta sa...
The Krispy Kreme Doughnut Recipe...
Does your mum like shopping...
What falls, but never needs...
Ano ang puno na di...
Ano ang sinabi ng isda...
Gi treat ni misis iyang...
Q: What did the blonde...
Q: How can you help...
Q: What's a blondes idea...
Q: What did the elephant...
Teacher: Why do we put...
Q: What do you call...
Q: What is the bees...
Q: How are Boris Becker...
Q: What is the difference...
A rapist, a gangster and...
Q: What do you say...
May tama ka! Basta smartness...
Waiter: These are the best...
Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT...
1. Q: "Kung ang light...
In a job interview the...
Juan: Pre, gabi-gabi nalang akong...
"Imo ko’ng gipasakitan unya karon...
ANAK: mommy, nakita ko si...
Sa office... Caller: Hello, good...
Sabi mo mukha m0 parang...
Press <F1> or <F2>. Take...
English: "Do not do unto...
ANAK : Nay, Nay! Naa...
Q: How do you tell...
Teacher: What's 2 and 2...
Pupil 1: Bay, nakahimo kag...
Pasyente: Dok, ngano magsakit man...
si JOHNNY taga BOHOL nibalhin...
(Mag-uyab nanuroy sa mall) BF:...
Pari: Unsa’y ngan sa baby?...
TEACHER:How many liters does a...
TEACHER: give me a tag...
Ngano ang mga ginikanan lisod...
Driver: Palihug lang beh, katong...
Q: unsay bisaya sa "we...
Ang lain-lain motto. AIR FORCE:...
Anak: Ma, busog nako, dili...
Anak: Tay, di ko katulog,...
Inahan: Daghana og lung-ag, apila...
Pedro: Iuli ko nalang ning...
Usahay kung maghilak ka, way...
Anak: Pa, mangharos ko karon...
PARROT mi singgit sa tulo...
Customer: Miss, papalita ko ug...
Pedro: Juan, ari ta agi...
Nanay: Anak, tawagi imong tatay...
Kustomir: Day, mainom ning tubig...
Mahibaw-an nimo imong sakit pina-agi...
ERAP @ GRADE 1 Sa...
Lola in Manila. Security: excuse...
Tay: Nak...kabantay mi nga...ni dako...
In a singing contest. 1st...
Empleyado: Boss, namatay diay atong...
Kulas: Bay Tasyo, matod sa...
Tatay: Dong, sak-a ang mangga...
Bisaya in Manila. BISAYA: Pabili...
(Mga bisdaks in Manila) BISAYA...
(Court hearing) ATTY: Asa ka...
Akala ko ba bakasyon na?...
Calculator ka ba? Kasi solved...
Waiting shed kba? kasi handa...
Philippines ka ba? kasi it's...
Pimple ka ba? Kasi pag...
TAXI ka ba? kasi habang...
Ilaw ka ba? kasi you...
Race track ka ba? kasi...
Aanhin pa ang PAA mo?...
Ang lampa mo naman! Tatawid...
Sana naging issue na lang...
Pwede ba kitang AWAYIN? para...
Thesis ka ba? Kasi handa...
Badtrip! Ano bang problema ng...
Alam mo, para kang ampalaya?...
Apoy ka ba? kasi I...
Sana antok na lang ako,...
PIZZA ka ba? CRUST kasi...
Alam mo ba na dati...
Kung nagugutom ako at kelangan...
GOOGLE ka ba? kasi nasa'yo...
Kili kili ka ba? kinikilig...
Si Mr. BEAN ka ba...
Hanggang KINSENAS na lang kita...
Safeguard ka ba? Bakit? Germs...
Nung sinabi ko sa sarili...
Minamalat na naman ang puso...
Totoo bang habang may buhay...
Ang galing mo palang bumato...
Para kang YOSI? Kasi ang...
Sikreto ka ba? Kasi hindi...
Sana tanong na lang ako...
Miss may kanin ka ba?...
"Didja hear the news?" asked...