Political Jokes And Funny Stories

Why are Vampires Democrats?They want Gore in 2000.

Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?A: Depends on how many were photographed.

Q: What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver?A: The bus driver stops to let the kids out.

A political man to a woman, "You look beautiful today!!!!"The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately I could not say the same about you.""Sure you could!!" said the political man, "if you could lie as well as I do!"

Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room?A: The White House.

Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season. Republicans do too, all year round.

Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!" "Honestly?" The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"

Q: What's a conservative?A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it." "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it." "This is my final position, and I will not compromise!"