Political Jokes And Funny Stories
Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had?A: A mandate to govern.
I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town Meeting."
Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing streetinterviews about the upcoming presidential primary election."I'm not voting for any of the candidates," the first man said. "Idon't know any of them.""I feel the same way," the second man said. "Only I knowthem all."
Q: How does Al Gore spell potato?A: T-A-T-E-R.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said, "I never pass up a chance to promote the party. For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizable tip and say, 'Vote Democratic.'" His opponent said, "I have a better scheme, and it doesn't cost me a nickel. I don't give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say, 'Vote Democratic.'"
It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy.
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why I'm a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl. The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she is a conservative Republican. "Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too." The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "That's no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron? What would you be then?" The teacher paused and smiled. "Then," Lucy said, "I'd be a liberal Democrat."
Q: If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get?A: Coffee.