Parent Jokes And Funny Stories

Down at the office Bostwick boasted to one of his buddies,"My son Arthur is smarter even than Abraham Lincoln. Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didn't say it till he was fifty!"

What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has?Parents.

Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads.Dad: No, I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself.

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

An irate father stormed into the principal's office. "I demand to know," he screamed, "why my son Winslow was given a zero on his English examination." "Now, don't get excited," said the principal. "We'll get your Winslow's English teacher in here. I'm sure she has some explanation." A few minutes later, the English teacher arrived. "Why did you give Winslow a zero on his English final?" demanded the father. "I had no choice," said the schoolmarm. "He handed in a blank paper with absolutely nothing on it." "That's no excuse," shouted the father. "You could have at least given him an 'A' for neatness!"

When is a parent like a child?When he's a miner.

Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses, and his father, standing beside him, said, "Now, remember, son. Don't wear them when you're not looking at anything."

Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.

Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock." She said, "But Father, I'm no longer a child!" He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by eleven."

"Dad, why do you write so slow?" asked Dennis. "I have to," replied his father. "I'm a slow reader."