Music Jokes And Funny Stories

Q: How is lightning like a violist's fingers?A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards? A. So they can park in handicapped zones.

Knock KnockWho's there !Bass !Bass who ?Bass the salt and pepper please !

Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical orchestra how well he knew the music by singing all parts of the Lucia sextet during rehearsal.Afterwards, one musician was overheard whispering to the other, impressed, "Well, this kid really knows his stuff!"The other replied, "I don't think he is so hot. Did you notice how flat his high E was at the end?"

An eight-year-old kid says t his dad, "When I grow up, I want to be a musician."The dad says, "I am sorry -- can't have it both ways."

Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"

Q: What's the definition of a nerd?A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

1st man: "My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o'clock this morning!"2nd man: "Did they wake you?"1st man: "Nah....I was up playing my bagpipes."