Music Jokes And Funny Stories

Q: What is the definition of a major seventh?A: A violist playing octaves.

What's musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer? A barrel organ.

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It's all in the grip.

Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?A: A trombone will bend before it breaks.

Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?A: I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear.

Why did they arrest the musician? He got into treble.

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant."You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter.""Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

Q: What is the definition of an optimist?A: An accordion player with a pager.

Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?A: Because he's Haydn!

Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.