Movie And Tv Jokes And Funny Stories

What's the definition of a good actor? Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.

Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said "Hell, I'm no actor, and I've got thirty movies to prove it!"

The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast. "First of all," he tells him, "We've got Gibson in the lead." The director is surprised, "You got Mel Gibson?" "Well, no," the Producer responds, "we got Marvin Gibson, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford." "You got Robert Redford?" the director asks. "No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But," he says enthusiastically, " we've got Streisand and in a singing role." "Barbara Streisand?" he asks. "No, Elizabeth Streisand." The Producer responds. "But she's got a great voice. AND we've got Goulet." "You got Robert Goulet?" the director asks. "Yeah," the producer replies glumly, "we got Robert Goulet."

Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?A: If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.

Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.

Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: WHAT?

Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.

One agent stops by another agent's table to tell him the big news: "Elvis just died!" The second agent says nothing, then starts nodding. "Good career move."

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...