Monster Jokes And Funny Stories

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster? On a piece rate.

Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?To see if blondes have more fun.

FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes.BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she's posted it.

What's the hardest part of making monster soup? Stirring it.

Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck. Frankenstein said, "Monster, monster, what are you doing here?" The monster said, "Well, boss, they hanged me this morning so now I've come to meet my maker."

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors? Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.

FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner? SECOND MONSTER: Yes, everyone's been eaten.

Why did the monster go into hospital?To have his ghoul-stones removed.

An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. 'Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant. 'Hide the "Free Alterations" sign!'

Did you hear about the monster with five legs?His trousers fit him like a glove.