Monster Jokes And Funny Stories

FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it.

What's big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has sixteen wheels? A monster on roller-skates.

Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the menu, sir? Monster: No thanks, just bring me the passenger list.

What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?Lots of very worried dogs.

Where do you find monster snails?On the end of monsters fingers.

What did Dr Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog? I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.

What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other? I didn't know we lived on the same block.

What makes an ideal present for a monster? Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war? He lost it in a hair raid.

What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver? Daddy.