Money Jokes And Funny Stories

When does a female deer need money?When she doesn't have a buck.

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. 'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing. Why?''Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them? I did! Well, here's the elastic band.

Why isn't a dime worth as much today as it used to be?Because the dimes (times) have changed.

Why is the moon like a dollar?It has four quarters.

If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first?The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).

Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.

How did rich people get their money?They were calm and collected.

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

What dog has money?A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).