Men Jokes And Funny Stories

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?A widower.

Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks?So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.

How are men like noodles?They are always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.

Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."The photographer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.The journalist went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.Last, but not least, it was the editor's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie. "I want them both back after lunch" replied the editor, "the deadline for tomorrow's newspaper is in about ten hours.

What does it mean to come home to a man who'll give you some love and tenderness?You're in the wrong house.

Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

Men are like vacuum cleaners.They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?No one knows, it's never happened.

Q. How do men exercise on the beach?A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Men are like department stores.Their clothes should always be half off.