Journalist Jokes And Funny Stories
What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day ?DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !
Reporter: What made you go out on that dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?Boy Hero: I had to do it. He had my skates on.
George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".The Washington Time : "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".Mother Jones : "Bush can't swim".
A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor.""There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?""No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says."But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?""Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."
How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire building.
What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ?A common tater !
A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations."To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?"We just report the facts, we don't change them."
What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ?A spooksman !