Idiot And Fool Jokes And Funny Stories

Doctor: That deafness cure help your brother? Archie: Sure did! He hadn't heard a sound in years, and the very day after he took that medicine, he heard from America!

Tyfus applied for a job in a factory. The company doctor who was giving him a physical asked, "Have your eyes ever been checked?" "No," said the worker. "They've always been brown."

The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" " 'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"

Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store tobuy a chain saw ?He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day.He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days latercomplaining that it onlycut one tree and that took all day.The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what theproblem was.The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?

Did you hear about the Iranian terrorist who switched off the fans of his stolen helicopter because he couldn't stand the draft?

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 11 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 175-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 25,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

Did you hear about the hillbilly who asked his friends to give him their burnt-out light bulbs. He wanted to start a dark room.

"What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?" "He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise."

What did the stupid ghost do? He used to climb over walls.

Did you hear about the idiot who invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?