Humor Jokes And Funny Stories

Why was the banker bored? Because he lost interest in everything.

Sharon: I'm so homesick.Sheila: But this is your home!Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.

Do you know the difference between genius and stupid? "Genius has its limits."

Steve, Bob and Jeff are all working on some very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realise they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good with this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do it. After two hours, he returns carrying a six-pack of beer. "So, did you tell her?" Asks Jeff. "Yep." Replies Bob. "Hey, where did you get the six-pack?" "She gave it to me." "What?!" Exclaims Jeff. "You just told her that her husband died, and she gave you a six-pack?!" "Sure. When she answered the door, I asked her whether she was Steve's widow. 'Widow?' She said. 'No, no..I'm not a widow. You must be mistaken.' So I said, 'I'll bet you a six-pack you are!'"

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but 200 applied for the job.

Martin asked David, "In which state does the Ohio River run?" David answered with cool, "In the liquid state."

The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up. "Have you ever been x-rayed?", asked the doctor. "Nope," she replied, "But ah've been ultra-violated."

If you need a loan, who do you see in the bank?The Loan Arranger (Lone Ranger).

The Counselor was talking to the campers about safety. She said 'Don't climb any trees. If you fall down and break a leg, don't come running to me!'

How many architects does it take to change a light bulb?Just one, but he has to coordinate ten other professionals who are doing this quiet complicated task.