Hair And Bald Jokes And Funny Stories

For what person do all men take off their hats?The barber.

How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

Knock KnockWho's there !Barber !Barber who ?Barberd wire !

What's your dad getting for Christmas? Bald and fat.

Doctor, Doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in ?Yes, here is a paper bag !

Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, "No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again." So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head." Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, "Here. Just take this." Confused, the man says, "What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels?" Smiling, the shop owner says, "Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your ass and tell everyone you're a caramel apple."

My barber is a specialist in road map shaves. How come? When he's finished, your face is full of short cuts.

What do you call a high-priced barber shop?A clip joint.

What do you call a pen with no hair ?A bald point !

Why do bald-headed men never use keys?Because they've lost their locks.