Food Jokes And Funny Stories

Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine? They keep repeating themselves.

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?""Why, it's bean soup," she replied."I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce, but now it's gone.

What cake wanted to rule the world? Attila the Bun.

Why are oranges like bells?You can peel (peal) both of them.

And what's your name?" the secretary asked the next new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first name's not Roland," smirked the secretary. "No, ma'am. It's Brendan."

Q: What did one strawberry say to the other?A:"Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."

What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ?Gravi-tea !

Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what fruit would it remind you of? Pupil: A pear.