Food Jokes And Funny Stories

Flo: Try some of my sponge cake. Joe: It's a bit tough. Flo: That's strange. I only bought the sponge from the chemist this morning.

How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup? Read the label.

Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls? She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?A: An Impasta.

At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything.When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?'Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'

Boy: What's black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin.

Q: What did one strawberry say to the other?A:"Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"

Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice? Why? Do I look like one?

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.""Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"