Food Jokes And Funny Stories

What's the best day to eat bacon? Fry-day.

Several women were discussing what they should have for dinner. "If you're watching your weight," came one suggestion, "those diet frozen dinners are good." The man then added: "But get two. They're small."

What's the fastest cake in the world? Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.

What looks just like half a loaf of bread? Its other half.

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods?One was "a-salted."

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.

Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why? Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.'Would you like a cherry on the top ?' asked the waitress.'No, thanks,' said the girl, 'I'm on a diet !'

What's red and green and wears boxing gloves? A fruit punch.