Fishing Jokes And Funny Stories
"I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." "Were there any witnesses?""There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds."
Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait.The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait. After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water. After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? "
A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, " Only caught one, eh?"
What fish is best to have in a boat? A Sailfish.
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside !
Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone! Counselor: Are you choking? Lee: No, I'm serious!
The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?""Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts. "Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger. "Nope.""Well, meet the new game warden." "Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?" "Nope". "Meet the biggest liar in the state."
Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !
What fish do road-menders use ? Pneumatic krill !
How do you post a fish? You send it COD ... or first bass mail