Doctor And Nurse Jokes And Funny Stories

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear."What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!Stick your foot out and trip it up!

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him.After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time. "But doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Dad hasn't walked in over a year!"

Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.We must get to the core of this!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of meOne at a time please

Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.

Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shakingDo you drink a lot?Not really - I spill most of it!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.But I'm not allowed up on the couch!

Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking ?Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor !

Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.Don't worry it's just a chain reaction!