Doctor And Nurse Jokes And Funny Stories

"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.""And did he?""Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."

Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me. Next please!

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.So why did you come around then?Well, I saw this light at the window...!

Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?You have a broken finger!

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?None - They just have a nursing assistant do it.

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.Doctor: Tell me about your problem.Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!

Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.That's quite enough out of you!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric eelThat's shocking!

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later.

The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. ""Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."