Computer Jokes And Funny Stories

Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium? A: Successive approximations.

A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play, too."

Tech Support: "How may I help you today, sir?" Customer: "Hello...hey, er...I think I've got the wrong software installed in my computer." Tech Support: "Why is that, sir?" Customer: "I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded with software called the 'XYZ Desktop'." Tech Support: "Yes...?" Customer: "Shouldn't it be called the 'XYZ Minitower'? I OBVIOUSLY have the wrong software installed in this computer."

Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive!Has the computer stopped working?No, but there's a lot of crackling.

As most technophiles are aware, there are special programs to run scanners. These programs use a TWAIN driver to perform the scanning. TWAIN, the acronym, stands for "Technology Without An Interesting Name."

What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?The space bar.

Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb? A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.

The Three Laws of Secure Computing1) Don't buy a computer.2) If you do buy a computer, don't plug it in.3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.