Clinton Jokes And Funny Stories

Q: What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant?A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit.

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Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None. They like to keep him in the dark!

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Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax?A: Because they could spell it.

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Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen?With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! Howcould you??!!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what haveyou got to say???"There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screamsagain, "Did you hear me??!!" Finally she hears Bill's very, veryquiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"

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Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in?A: Handcuffs.

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Q: How many Clinton administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two--one to screw the bulb into the water faucet while the other tells us that everything possible is being done to help the situation.

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Q: Why aren't Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks?A: It takes too long to retrain them.

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Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore?A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a crookedpolitician with a dishonest lawyer? A. Chelsea Clinton

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President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip -- a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute."I'd salute you back, Sergeant," says the President, "but as you can see, I've got my hands full.""Yes, sir," replies the sergeant. "Very nice pigs, sir. Very nice pigs.""Why, these aren't pigs," the President responds. "These are RAZORBACKS!""Yes, sir -- razorbacks. Sorry, sir.""Yup," Clinton continues. "Got this one for Chelsea, and this one for Hillary."The sergeant replies: "Very good trade, sir -- very good trade."

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