Clinton Jokes And Funny Stories
Q: How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]?A: He's got his jogging suit on.
Q: How many Clinton administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two--one to screw the bulb into the water faucet while the other tells us that everything possible is being done to help the situation.
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit afortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room,peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news."There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepareyourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent andhorrible death this year."Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then atthe single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took afew deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. Shemet the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked herquestion:"Will I be acquitted?"
Clinton goes around telling people we humans are genetically 99.9% similar. Apparently the 0.1% is the character gene.
Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years?A: Unite the Republican Party.
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.
Q: What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant?A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit.
Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess?A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two.
Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in?A: Handcuffs.