Children Jokes And Funny Stories
On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!""That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?""Just a wild guess," she said.The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!""That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl."Just a lucky guess," said the teacher.The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked."No," the boy replied.The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked."No," the boy replied.The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!"
Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Mary. When I was your age I ate every one.Mary: Do you still like crusts, Grandma?Grandma: Yes, I do.Mary: Well, you can have mine.
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
Did you hear about the boy who was known as Fog ?He was dense and wet !
Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."
Mum: Jackie, go outside and play with your whistle. Your father can't read his paper.Jackie: Wow, I'm only eight and I can read it
Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak. Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.
As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball."Is this yours" he asked"Did it do any damage" asked one of the boys"No" replied the minister"Then it's mine !"
John kept pestering his parents to buy a video, but they said they couldn't afford one. So one day John came home clutching a package containing a brand-new video.'Where in the World did you get the money to pay for that ?' asked his father suspiciously.'It's OK, Dad,' replied John, 'I've traded the TV in for it.'