Children Jokes And Funny Stories

Mum: Jackie, go outside and play with your whistle. Your father can't read his paper.Jackie: Wow, I'm only eight and I can read it

Why was the lightning bug unhappy?Because her children were not very bright.

Jennifer: Are you coming to my party ?Sandra: No, I ain't.Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain't. It's I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming. Sandra: Blimey, ain't nobody coming ?

Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet ?Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes !

Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners.Son:But, Mum, I don't want three school dinners, one is more than enough !

Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted ?Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

"What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out, "Happy!"

Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. ' Oh you're so stupid!' shouted Dick.'Dick!' said their father, 'that's quite enough of that! Now say you're sorry.''OK,' said Dick. 'Jane, I'm sorry you're stupid.'

As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball."Is this yours" he asked"Did it do any damage" asked one of the boys"No" replied the minister"Then it's mine !"

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. ' What's wrong ?' asked his mother. Do people really come from dust, like they said in church ? he sobbed. 'In a way they do,' said his mother. ' And when they die do the turn back to dust ?'. 'Yes, they do.' The little boy began to cry again. ' Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going !'