Cannibal Jokes And Funny Stories

A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she's to skinny. After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman." sure son" the father replied, drooling. "We'll take her home and eat you mother!"

First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?

Two cannibals were having lunch. 'Your girlfriend makes a great soup,' said one to the other.'Yes!' agreed the first. 'But, U'm going to miss her terribly.'

Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"

Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.

What did the cannibal's parents say when she brought her boyfriend home ?'Lovely, dear, he looks good enough to eat!'

First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our but tonight.Second cannibal: What are you having? First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

What happened to the cannibal lion?He had to swallow his pride!

Why won't cannibals eat Frank Sinatra?Because he's always coming back!