Bus Jokes And Funny Stories

Passenger: Does this bus go to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't sell them!

Which end of a bus is it best to get off?It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd stand up and let someone else sit down." "And if you were a lady," replied Roger, "you'd stand up and let four people sit down."

Why didn't anyone take the school bus to school?I wouldn't fit through the door.

What do monsters play when they are in the bus? Squash.

How do eels get around the seabed? They go by octobus.

Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.

Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York? Driver: Which part? Passenger: All of me, of course!

Sam left work after a tiring day. 'Take the bus home,' suggested a friend. 'My mother would only make me take it back,' Sam said.

Bus passenger: I'd like a ticket to New York, please. Ticket seller: By Buffalo? Bus passenger: Of course not, I'm in the bus queue, aren't I?