Birthday Jokes And Funny Stories

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!

"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."

Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong."I'll never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.""Wow! That's quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why are you so dejected?""Well I thought about it for a while" said Joe, "and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won't even speak to me!"

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesn't get her anything.She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"

Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday. . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

What did one candle say to the other?"Don't birthdays burn you up?"

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears? I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!

"Did you go shopping for my birthday present?" "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What thing is that?" "Nothing!"

Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank you enough.

For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!