Birthday Jokes And Funny Stories

How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!

Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.'Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am,' he said politely, ' but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread!''That's right.''Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake....?''Well, today is his birthday!'

Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'

Man l: "I got my wife a VCP for her birthday" Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?" Man 1: "No, a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!"

I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old yesterday.

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?He heard they were having upside-down cake!