Birthday Jokes And Funny Stories

What did you get for your birthday? Another year!

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely!Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread.""That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesn't get her anything.She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"

Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!

How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh, I don't think that's possible. Oh, yes it is - I'm nine today.

What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!

How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?He has a whale of a party!

Did you hear about the flag's birthday? It was a Happy one!