Bicycle Jokes And Funny Stories

Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?Because it is two-tired (too tired).

Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes ?Sir Francis Brake !

What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

The school teacher was furious when Brad knocked him down with his new bicycle in the school yard. "Don't you know how to ride that yet?" he roared. "Oh yes!" shouted Brad over his shoulder. "It's the bell I can't work yet.

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard."Sand," said the cyclist."Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smu ggling?" "Bicycles!"

Which is the cheapest bicycle you can buy? A penny-farthing.

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.

I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?

Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb? A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said: 'I didn't think we'd make it!' Jill replied, 'Nor did I - what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we'd have slid all the way back down!'