Bicycle Jokes And Funny Stories

My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away.

"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym teacher. "Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy." "I'm freewheeling, sir."

Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb? A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?

Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?Because it is two-tired (too tired).

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself? Because it was two-tyred.

Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ?Bicycle petals !

Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes ?Sir Francis Brake !