Bed Jokes And Funny Stories

Mother: Did you make your bed today?Daughter: Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy one.

I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role?No, just toast and marmalade.

When Mr Maxwell's wife left him, he couldn't sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed.

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

Why did your sister keep running around her bed ?Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep.

I don't think my Mom knows much about children. Why do you say that? Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake, and gets me up when I'm sleepy!

Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks.

What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on? Cot-on-wool.

When does a bed grow longer?At night, because two feet are added to it.

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !