Beauty Jokes And Funny Stories

Monster: I'm so ugly. Ghost: It's not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.

She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.

Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, 'I took my girlfriend to see 'The bride of Dracula' last night.''Oh yeah,' said the other, ' what was she like ?''Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs.'The other said, 'Yes, but what was 'The Bride of Dracula' like ?'

I've just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!

Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Yes, they couldn't find a crane strong enough to lift her face!

Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn't pretty and wasn't ugly ?She was pretty ugly

Your ugly.And you're drunk.Yes, but in the morning I'll be sober !

Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the worldWhat was I wearing ?

She's the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they can't believe it the first time.

My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.