Apple Jokes And Funny Stories

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

What kind of apple has a short temper?A crab apple.

What kind of apple isn't an apple?A pineapple.

Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said,'Watch out for worms won't you !'The first one replied, 'why should I ? They can watch out for themselves.

Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing ?Because they're crab apples !

Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple?Because everyone had to go in pairs !

What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.

Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?" "That's what they say," said his Dad. "Well, give me an apple quick ? I've just broken the doctor's window!"

Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.

After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?" Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 apples."